Our first son was born on April 2, 1997……he cried for the first year of his life.  Severe gastro-esophogeal-reflux-disease.  Not easy for a first time mama…not what I signed up for….and it was hard being a working mama….never getting any sleep….and constantly listening to crying….crying….crying….and more crying…it was incessant….And of course….no sleeping…for a year

Thank God..for my parents…my in-laws…and my youngest sister..Jen…who was in her first year of college I believe….but on every break….she would come to my house and help us.  I remember once Zach had a severe ear infection…and we were sleepless for days…..Jen stayed over one night…she was probably only 19 at the time….and she took care of Zach for the entire night….my husband and I slept in the comfort of our bed…finally getting a good night sleep. 

And thank God for my parents….they would take him every Saturday the first year of his life (and even into his second year).  He would spend Saturday night there.  I remember…..dropping him off…and unlike most mamas….I gave him to my mom…..and I ran….ran to my car….drove fast back home….ran into my house…to have quiet.  And when I dropped him at my moms…..I did not stay and give him hundreds of kisses and hugs….and I did not dread and worry as I left him in someone else’s care…..no I ran.  Thank God for them….they really did save me.

Back then I often wondered how single mamas with no support at all…how did they survive the constant crying…how did they do it all alone….with no-one to offer them respite….it amazed me when I would think of single mamas out there handling life, work, and a baby that cried all of the time. 

It took me a long time to enjoy being a mother….I hated all the mamas out there that had perfect babies…the ones that ate….slept…..smiled…ate….slept….smiled…and the babies that were just constantly happy.  It made me miserable to watch any baby show…ugh…how annoying and nauseating to hear those mamas talking about how great parenthood was.  I wanted the days back when it was just me and my husband…we slept the night…we went out to dinner and ate the entire meal together….we could go to a family party and not feel as if we were in a bubble taking care of a crying child…not even realizing what was going on around us….we enjoyed life….what had we done????

Now….in the present day….I often think….how blessed I am to have been given that crying baby…how lucky I was to have had those sleepless nights…how glad I was that we were blessed with the child that did not sleep for a year…….because Zach has turned out to be one of the most caring and loving souls I may know.  And if you ask my four siblings….my parents…my inlaws….and all of my family members….they would agree.  He cares about everyone…he does not have a mean bone anywhere in his body…and he does not understand how other people can be mean….. Zach cares about his young cousins……he takes the extra time to bend down on his knees to give his cousin Jolene a hug…because he knows how much she idolizes him…..he takes the time to find out and figure out why any one of his siblings is upset or crying.   And he is always there to cheer them on….whether it be the first time Gregory rode a two wheeler…..or a high level that Andrew just beat….or the great job his sister Katie did in her Baton competition.   And the best part of it all…is that it is genuine….it is real.   And for a teenager…who most of them are embarrassed just by breathing….he never forgets to give anyone a hug hello or goodbye.  His parents…grandparents…aunts…uncles….all of us.

So I think back to the year of 1997….when I felt like my world turned upside down….and I thank God that we were blessed with Zachary Stelling Marino…..our rockstar someday.

6 Responses to A ROCK STAR

  1. Alyson says:

    I cried while reading this today. Love is such a hard thing when ones heart gets broken. We all know it will get easier as each day passes, but it hurts a lot now. Hang in there Zach we all love you.

  2. admin says:

    Jane, thanks so much. Read about G-isms Because those will make you giggle. How lucky my kids are to have had you in their lives.

  3. Jane Adamo says:

    OK, so now I am crying. What a touching, heart-warming story about such an amazing child! I knew how loving and caring he was when I met Zachary at six! And thank God you added to the family because I have had the most honored pleasure of having a little time with all of them. You are an amazing family. So happy to have met you and work with your 4 children!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Jen says:

    Ok, so not a good thing to be reading at 6:45 in the morning before I have to go to work because I am in tears. He is such an amazing child and a wonderful role model for my children. Love him so much!!!!

  5. Grandma says:

    I am the PROUD grandma of Zachary. when he was a little toddler my husband would sing “hate to see you go,I hope to heck you don’t come back hate to see you go”. Zachary said”but Grandpa then you would never see me again”. Now the song is changed to ” hope the heck you hurry back, hate to see you go love u Z man.

  6. Alyson says:

    Beautifully written. Zach is all those wonderful things you wrote about him. I’m so proud to be his aunt and call him my nephew.

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