I have written a few posts…..and also have written under the autism spectrum disorders page about what “spontaneous and functional language means”…..and the difference between scripted language and spontaneous language. Often times parents will tell me that they just want to hear their little one….say what she feels….say what she wants….express her needs….say why she is sad….why she is mad…express her feelings. For children on the spectrum (in my experience)…..this is such an extreme challange….to be able to make the connection between how they are feeling and the words that are attached to those feelings.
I worked with this little boy for over a year…he and his mother became attached to my heart….I really gave my heart and soul into every second of my time with him….especially…because the very first day that I walked into his home…and realized he was a little one that was on the spectrum…but did not have a diagnosis yet…and I had to be sure to help this little one and his family get the help they needed. I had to be sure to lead them carefully in the right direction so he could be on the language path….so he could communicate his needs….and eventually tell us on he feels….and why he is feeling what he is feeling….
Well I do not see this little one anymore…he now is in a preschool program…..I still of course keep in contact with his mother….and she sent me the email below….with her permission I have included her email in this post…..it made me cry…..tears of happiness for him and her. Both mom and dad’s names were changed…as well as the child.
He hit and kick like crazy. After that, when I tried to talk to him, I not just remind him hitting is wrong and I also asked ” Why did you hit Mommy? ” For this kind of question, I never think I could get any respond back from him.
But you know the amazing thing happend today. He said: ” Because I hate you. ” Even though I kept my voice firm, remained my angry face and said ” Don’t say you hate Mommy. It makes me hurt. You can say ‘Because I am angry.’ “
( I am not sure he can understand these words or not.) But at that moment, I told Joe (my husband) that I was so so happy to hear my son said ” Beacuse I hate you.” It sounds weird to feel happy that way. But I believe you all can understand the meaning of this sentence to us.
I can not wait to share our happiness with you. And thank all of you are alwasy be there with John and us.
You can see from her email above…that for the first time ever….John was able to tell his mother how he felt…and he was able to answer the WHY question….this type of question is one of the most difficult of all the WH questions. I believe…that this may be a big step in the right direction for this little one.
This was my email back to my friend June…..