My youngest son, Gregory, in 2010 starting saying the funniest things to us. He was five at the time. They are clever, funny and sometimes they don’t make any sense at all. I started writing them down on sticky notes and taped them to our frig. He is a delicious little boy…and we often tell him that he is like medicine….meaning he can always make you feel better when things may not be going your way. His innocent, sweet, funny and his clever comments make us laugh and smile. Whenever a new G-ism is said….I text to family and friends and it immediately goes on the frig. So I hope that you find them funny too-and that it brings a laugh or smile to your face.
March 8, 2010– “Watching a movie is just like watching TV, except you can’t change the channels.”
April 17, 2010– “Sometimes when you eat a hot dog you want to go somewhere else” (We are still trying to figure out what this one means)
May 13, 2010– “Have a good night and a happy tomorrow.”
June 2, 2010– “Stay beautiful mama.”
June 25, 2010– “I am thankful for God and bathrooms.”
June 26, 2010– “Shows are basically books that move.”
July 11, 2010– “Is it illegal to hug without pants on?”
July 24, 2010 -”I’m gonna get my socks on and have a little fun!”
Gregory was in the kitchen and he decided that he was going to go up in his room and put his socks on and have some fun. He came back downstairs with his socks on, started sock skating around the kitchen and we laughed because that’s what he meant (he literally was getting his socks on to have some fun).
August 17, 2010-”Thank God we have houses. Otherwise there would be no place to plug the TVs in.”
August 19, 2010– “Dogs are lucky, they have no worries about school or college.”
August 20, 2010– Gregory put cooked penne pasta on his fingers and said:
“Definitely a good way to warm the fingers.”
September 7, 2010–“Everything I say -you put no the frig for no apparent reason.”
September 7, 2010-Our friend and once babysitter….Catherine….had been with us for five years…..September 2010…..was the first year without her….all the kids were now in school….Gregory could not figure out what happened to her…..
“Did we fire Catherine….or did she just retire?”
October 10, 2010– “Is $56.00 enough to buy my wife a bed someday?”
November 1, 2010– Gregory told us that the title of the first story he ever writes will be
“Guacamole and the rise of the nipples”
Oh boy about that one…….
December 9, 2010-Gregory went to bed with a really bad cough………he came in our room in the middle of the night and said: “Everytime I cough, the clapper keeps turning my lights on and off!”
*****If you want to know how and why Gregory has the clapper…..he had a cheez whiz and crackers sale over the summer…..he sold various types of crackers and cheez whiz…..he made $18.00-and decided to buy the clapper with it! Clap-on Clap-off!
February 16, 2011-”How did God make the first two people? And who changed their diapers?”
March 23, 2011– “If I had a pot of gold I would spend it on cheese.”
April 29, 2011-“When I get older I’m not gonna sell my pajamas, cuz they’ll bring back a lot of memories”.
June 1, 2011- Gregory decided that his back was too hairy….he came downstairs and said… “My back is too hairy I need to start shaving it”. The best part of the story is that he went into Kindergarten the next day and told his classmates that his back was hairy and then he showed them his hairy back.
Unknown date: Gregory was probably around 3 years old. He was not listening. I wanted him to put on his pajamas…and he just would not listen. So I told him something that I never said again because of his response. I said “Gregory I am going to count to three! Put on your pajamas!” His response was: “You know what mom? I am going to count to four!” Well I just about died. I laughed hysterically and thought to myself…he has no idea what I mean when I say that I am going to count to three. He knew I was angry but probably thought…”why is my mama going to count to three…what would be the reason when she’s so mad about me not listening now”.
Unknown date: “Mom, I’m glad I am not The Flame character from the Fantastic Four. Because in math when you are adding up….you have to use your fingers. And If I was The Flame…..when I was adding up….I would probably go on fire”.
July 12, 2011: Gregory had his eye surgery today…..at the hospital he was so brave but very upset that he was not wearing pants….. he only had on the hospital gown and his underwear. It did not make sense to him….He kept asking for his pants…. I want my pants…where are my pants….I need my pants on…mom please I need my pants….why no pants on mom??????…….And I thought about it….he was right….when would we allow our little boys to be out in a public place….with a long dress like outfit on and just their underwear! Well after he took the “sleepy medicine”….my husband carried him to the surgery room…..the nurse said…..”Is this Gregory?”………my husband said yes……then as loud as Gregory could he shouted……………………..”I HAVE NO PANTS!”
July 13, 2011:Gregory noticed that the whites of his eyes were bloody and red because of his eye surgery. We were really trying to avoid him noticing….did not want him to be scared or upset. He was in the bathroom….washing his hands….looked in the mirror…came out of the bathroom….and said..
“Mom, I think I am now part super-hero!”
July 18, 2011: I just told Gregory that he needed to brush his teeth….he grabbed my cheeks….turned my head….looked at me and said….”I can’t mom…..I’m focused on you right now.”
July 29, 2011: We went to the Yankees Game on Friday night….Gregory wanted to bring his glove with him…..he said: “I know I am going to catch a ball at the Yankees game Dad…..because I am really great at catching pop-ups!”
Well, Gregory did not actually catch a ball….but he left the game with a game ball….how? Read below to find out…..I was actually crying….
The game had almost a two-hour rain delay….we were all wet and cold…..I was ready to go home by the sixth inning…they were not winning….and I was soaking wet…..well thank God we didn’t….
It was the top of the 8th inning….and Gregory had his foam blue Yankees finger on his hand….he held it up high….and was chanting: “Let’s go Yankees!” He was incessant….he just did not stop……well about 15 minutes later I turned to my husband and said: “Is our entire section cheering with him?” They were….he would say: “Let’s go Yankees!” and then everyone would clap twice….or hit their feet on the ground twice….or bang on their seats…..singing along with him….he would turn to the crowd and tell everyone to sing louder….”Come on everyone!”…..priceless……then a man from about ten seats down….came up….and gave Gregory a high five….and picked him up in the air….and was shouting for him….telling him how awesome he was….and the crowd was clapping and cheering….of course I was crying…because it was priceless…..so sweet…..
To top off the night….a young man, probably in his early twenties…about three rows down….he catches a foul ball…..and the crowd cheers…”Give it to the boy!”…….well he did!……and my oldest son lifts up Gregory….and the crowd cheers more…..and Gregory says….”See Dad….I knew it…..I knew I would get a game ball!” Probably one of my best memories ever….thank God we stayed for the entire game…..
July 31, 2011-“If Jesus’ birthday is on Christmas, why do we get presents?”
August 1, 2011-Gregory was at his grandmother’s house…swimming in the pool with all of his cousins. They got out of the pool…lined up their towels on the ground…..and all sat down to enjoy the warm sun…..It was a really hot day….and Gregory said….”Someone turned the sun on full power!”
September 1, 2011-
Gregory just finished eating six chicken nuggets…..a cheeseburger (no pickles no onions)….and a medium chocolate shake…..he came up to me and said….
“Mama…my belly hurts from all of that McDonald’s.”
He walked out of the room….and about a minute later he walked back in and said:
“I feel better now…..half the food just dropped into my lower intestines.”
September 21, 2011….getting ready for school…
“I’m not gonna brush my hair anymore…just on holidays…especially Valentine’s Day. Never on Halloween though…cuz I’ll be dressed up.”
September 21, 2011…Gregory has poison ivy…again!
“If poison ivy’s job is to itch you, then the cream you put on it basically doesn’t let it do it’s job.”
I know this picture is a little blury…but you can still appreciate how delicious he is…..
here are two of his latest…G-ism’s:
September 24, 2011Gregory’s first song: “Fushin Flaze…meer’ld flies…Mayonnnaise!
September 24, 2011– “I have had a chance of trying pumpkin pie, but I passed. It looked to wet.”
September 24, 2011….Gregory woke up in the middle of the night…he came into our bedroom…woke me up….and said:
“Mama I feel bad that you and Dad are all alone, I have to get in bed with you”.
How can you say no to that?!